Impress them with your admissions essay...here's how

One word of advice before you begin writing you admissions essay, keep the required 'word count' in mind. All universities have this requirement so make sure to check for your particular school's application instructions. Keep you essay within the limit without sacrificing your content. Hopefully, this following example will help.

Sample Personal Statement

Paragraph 1: Introduction

I can still remember that day so vividly in my mind when I sat in my usual study area feeling depressed and overwhelmed with all the work that was required of me from school. I wondered what compelled me to take in all these things that were quite overwhelming: sleepless nights spent studying, worrying about deadlines, dreading a class presentation and, most of all, finals week. Then one day I came to my English class, still quite unsure of my purpose in going to school. On that day, my teacher handed out an article entitled “Claiming an Education” by Adrienne Rich. As I read through the article, I asked myself, “What did she mean by claiming an education?” All this time, I thought education was supposed to be passive. I thought all students have to do to have an education is to come to class and take in everything that is taught to them. I thought wrong. This moment of awakening made me re-evaluate my purpose of earning my education.

Comment on Paragraph 1: As for any introduction, this is the part where you draw your audience attention so start with something interesting such as a story or a quote. Be creative.

Paragraph 2: Body

I chose to study Animal Science because of my love for animals and my almost passionate concern for their welfare. My personal belief that I can do something to make their lives better, through the course I am taking, has seen me through trying times. This passion has actually given me the motivation to face challenges head on. However, when times get too tough, I temporarily lose sight of my intentions. One example of such a tough time was when I took a Physics class. As a new immigrant from the Philippines, it was my third semester in an American college and everything was going well with my classes. At that time, I believed that I can handle anything thrown my way. Then this particular Physics class came along. There came a point during that semester when I was neglecting all my other classes just to be able to concentrate on this subject. Still, I was not doing well in that class. What I cannot comprehend was the fact that Physics fascinated me and I have actually come to like it. Yet, much as I try, my grades would not reflect that fascination. I remembered Rich saying that one of the factors of earning an education is taking responsibility toward one’s self. To me, this means that, even when grappling with hard work and having enough motivation are not sufficient to see me through difficult times, I have only myself to depend on to overcome the obstacles. When I was at the brink of giving up, I thought about what she said and told myself that one class would not hinder me from reaching my goals.

Comment on Paragraph 2: This is where you would 'show' the admissions committee what a great, driven student you are. Present them with the challenges you encountered and how you got through them. This will tell them that you are somebody who does not give up even when the circumstances are more difficult than you anticipated.

Paragraph 3: Closing Remarks

Going even further in taking responsibility for myself, I decided to apply to the Honors Program. After taking a study skills class, my perception of myself as being an average student changed. I learned from this class that smart students are not smart because they were born with it but because they knew how and what to study. Armed with new study strategies, I felt that I was ready to take on a more challenging experience. Indeed, the Honors classes provided me just that. Aside from being challenging, the rigorous classes have enriched me in a way that they encouraged me to be more analytical in dealing with various subject matters and to think critically about everything that is presented in front of me. These classes also provided me the opportunity to meet other highly motivated students who inspired me even more. The ties I have made with my fellow honors students still remain strong even when some of us have transferred to other universities. I was also fortunate to have had some of the best, devoted and caring teachers who are sincerely dedicated to their profession.

Comment on Paragraph 3: Expand on your idea from paragraph 2 and really close in on the deal by describing the person you have become. Talk about the people who have inspired you and who you will turn to for support when you encounter problems during college.

Download the pdf version of my sample Admissions Essay here

To download my sample personal statement right click on the 'Download the pdf version of my Admissions Essay here' and from the menu select 'save as. This document requires Adobe Reader.

===Side note===

There are many ways to spin your personal statement but whatever you decide to write, make sure that your accomplishments come out through those pages. Your personal is a great opportunity to express yourself, put it to good use and you will get accepted to the college of your dreams.

Your school may also ask additional questions in the personal statement section of the online college application. Check out examples of the questions that I answered by downloading this pdf file.

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